2WW Begins!

The 2WW is really boring. Nothing to report like the last few weeks. I found a picture of DH and I at Easter so I figured I'd add it. It was taken at our church in front of a beautiful flower cross.

2 Blasts now in my tummy!!

ET was yesterday. The procedure was supposed to be a 12:30, but things were running late and we didn't even get in until like 1:15! They told us to be there 45 minutes early, so by the time I was rolled back for the transfer we had been waiting for an hour and fifteen minutes! While we were waiting we talked a little, sat silently for a while, and played the games on our cell phones! I tell ya, it was a completely memorable experience! Before they rolled me back, they told us how the embryos had done. Out of the 11 eggs retrieved, only 2 made it to blasts. The clinic doesn't grade them, but we were told they looked great. They also said if the others get to a blast, they will freeze them. While I was on the table, the RE asked if I wanted a "Margarita" to help ease my fears. My DH said, "YES!!! She wants the Margarita!" They gave it to me and boy did I start feeling good! I was so glad that I had the Margarita because the RE had troubles! A 15 minute procedure took like 30! He had trouble getting through the cervix, and my DH said he even got out a needle and thread! I was so loopy and kept my eyes closed the entire time, that I had no clue what was going one. All I knew is that it was kinda taking forever, but it was not near as painful as the Mock or my IUI. After all was said and done, they took me to recovery where I laid, head down feet up, for an hour. All I wanted to do was sleep, and I felt sorry for my DH! We barely spoke a word. How boring for him! I was so glad he was with me for it! We came home and I immediately went to bed. I was (and still am) on bed rest. I slept about 2 hours and woke up for dinner, laid on the couch, and went to bed. This morning I am feeling really good. It is hard for me to think that I have 2 possible lives in me! Too bad we weren't able to get pictures of our blasts! We asked the RE, and he said they don't have that type of equipment, and that if we would donate the $7000 needed to buy it he would. I was thinking, hey we are already paying you $12,000!! Oh well, I guess I will just have to guess what they look like. Like me or like DH? DH, he's cuter!!

From 8 to 5!

Yep, unfortunately 3 of our multi-cell life forms have decided not to grow! I was pretty bummed, but I guess that 5 is still good. It will only take 1 right? As for the dreaded PIO last night, it was GREAT!! Well, as great as a shot can be. It only hurt a teeny tiny bit first going in and then nothing! I wasn't even sore today. I think before and after heat is a good thing!

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!!! 5 day transfer!!
Transfer is scheduled at 12:30! We need to be there 45 minutes early and need to plan to stay an hour after the procedure is done. I can't believe that all this work has lead up to one day!! It kinda reminds me of a wedding. Months of planning all coming together on one special day! Tomorrow is our day! I am a little nervous about it hurting since the mock and my IUI were no fun at all. I asked the RE about getting some valium for the procedure and he said they don't use it. I guess I won't worry about it. This could be one of the most important days in our lives!

PIO = OUCH

Last night was our first PIO shot, can someone say, "THAT HURTS!!!!"? Yikes! That was one of the most painful shots I have ever had in my life!! I think I scared DH, because when he first poked me, I jumped, yelled ouch, and started crying! I told him to do it again, and I promised I wouldn't move. We make it through, but I still cry afterwards and wonder how in the heck I am going to make it for (hopefully) 10-14 more weeks! So, this morning I call and leave a message with the RE about getting me some numbing cream. Well, they call me back and say they want me to come in so see where we gave the injection! Oh, now that is great, I get to drive an hour one way so they can look at my butt!! So, I talk to my coworkers and tell them I have to leave for an unexpected Dr's appointment. I drive up there, the entire appointment takes 5 minutes, and they tell me we did it too low. This time, the nurse draws circles on my butt to show DH exactly where to give it!! Then, I get to drive an hour home. On one hand, I am glad to know these aren't supposed to hurt that bad, so I might, just might, be able to get through these. On the other hand, I can't believe they just didn't draw a circle on my butt at the ER! Oh well, at least we know what we did wrong and how to fix it. As for our "muti-cell life forms", we still have our 8 and they are looking great - 6-8 cells! Wednesday is for sure the transfer, but I will find out the exact time tomorrow. I am feeling a lot better today. I'm not feeling as bloated, and the plumbing is getting better. I did go to the store and buy anything that said fiber on it! hehehe I am getting excited about the transfer. I think I will consider myself pregnant after the transfer (but that is my own little secret!)

We lost an embie today :-(

Today's fertilization report was that we lost one embie. That still leaves us with 8 good ones, but something in me is kinda depressed about losing the one. It is like one of our possible kids won't be around. It sucks. I'm feeling a little better physically, but still pretty bloated. (TMI coming). I've kinda been stopped up today, so I might need to invest in a fiber rich diet!! That may be some of my bloat! Hopefully, I will feel better tomorrow and get things a movin downstairs before I have to go back to work!

We start our PIO shots tonight. 8:00 PM! I'm not looking forward to it, well, like anyone does. I've never really been scared of needles like some people are, but I guess it could just be nerves of the unknown. I better get used to them. I am planning on needing them for 10-14 weeks to come!!

Today is my cousin's baby shower. I sent my regrets along with a Wal-Mart gift card! I've been avoiding her ever since I found out she was PG. I feel really guilty for avoiding her, but it is all self preservation! She is young, not married, and probably will have trouble supporting the baby, but maybe she will be a great mother and I am just jealous. Who said life is fair though, right?

Day after retrieval = UGH!

Well, I guess I am not one of the lucky ones that ER is a breeze. Yesterday and today has me feeling pretty much like shit. I am still very bloated and some pain right under my belly button. I am wondering if it is OHSS, but probably more likely that I am just a total wuss. I took my temp, and it was 99.0. I'm just going to keep an eye on myself, and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Now, for the good news...

FERTILIZATION REPORT
Retrieved 11 eggs yesterday
5 were ICSIed and 6 were naturally IVFed
4 of the ICSI fertilized
5 of the Natural fertilized
So, out of the 11, we have 9 that fertilized!!
Tomorrow we will get a call to see how our "multi-celled life forms" are doing.

DH was so cute when I told him the results. He was dancing around the house going, "WooHoo!!!" We both were very nervous about the fertilization. Since we are labeled "unexplained" we thought that maybe we had egg quality issues or fertilization issues. Guess not! So, that is one hurdle we have jumped. So, now the next hurdle is embryo growing. One day at a time, and hopefully we will have some strong multi-cell life forms!! I am just hoping to start feeling better. Something in me wonders if something is wrong in there, but I thought the same thing after my lap. I just need to give myself some time to heal. I am hoping I will feel up to working Monday. Also, if we end up doing a 3 day transfer, I really don't want to feel like shit for that!

Now, on a personal note, my DH got a promotion at work!! YES!! He has been working at the same company for over 5 years as a project worker. Today he found out that he is now a full-time employee!! Nothing much changes other than now he will get 3 weeks of vacation instead of 2. I am so incredibally proud of him. He works very hard for the company - like right now. Their server went out, and he has worked 13 day straight and some days more than 8 hours. He has wanted this promotion ever since we started seeing each other, and I am so happy for him!!! Yeah for my DH!!!!

Got 11 eggs!

It is done! Thank goodness! I was dreading this part ever since we decided to do IVF. It wasn't too bad, a lot like my lap in March. I wasn't too nervous until they put in the IV (which was really not bad at all). I remember going to the surgery room, getting on the table, and closing my eyes trying to do deep breaths to calm my nerves a bit. After a couple breaths, I tried to open my eyes and thought, "Wow, it is kinda hard to keep my eyes open." I was out!! When I was coming too, I can remember the tube in my throat. It seemed to be in a little too far because I was having trouble swallowing, and when they took the tube out I know I was drooling all over the place! Ewwwww. Got back to recovery, and started feeling quite a bit of pain. The nurse gave me something I can't remember what though, and she gave me some anti-nausea stuff with it. Started to feel a little better, but it didn't last very long. I was FREEZING in the recovery room. I could see the thermostat on the wall ~ set at 68!!! No wondering, we keep our house at a comfortable 77! I probably could have gone home sooner, but I needed to finish the bag of fluid in my IV first. Got in the car, and was feeling pretty good. Was pretty talkative on the way home, but once home was getting more tired. DH left for work and I went in the bedroom to nap. About an hour later, got up to pee and came into the living room and got on the computer (like right now!). Right now I am feeling ok. I was feeling a little nauseous, but better now. I still have some cramps and the worst part now is my sore throat. I still think they put the tube in too far or scratched my throat somehow. Now is the waiting. Wait, wait, wait. Tomorrow I will get the fertilization report. We are doing half ICSI and the other half regular. We are hoping the regulars do better, but since we are "unexplained" we aren't sure whether or not that is where are problem is. I am betting the 2 old guys (the two largest follicles) are too old to fert, so I'm hoping for like 7 good ones. That would leave us plenty to use and plenty to freeze for a later child! Now, I am ready to rest. I wish I was feeling a little better, but considering what I have gone through today, things are pretty good!

Tomorrow is the day!

I can't believe the ER is tomorrow! I hope I get a lot of good quality eggs - nice and mature! Last night, I did the trigger right when I was supposed to, so hoping that it releases my eggs at the right time! Tonight, I've been trying to clean up the house so when I get back tomorrow from the ER, I will come home to a nice clean house. I am by myself tonight as DH is working a 2-10 shift. He will be working that tomorrow too, so my Mom said she would stay at my house to kinda keep an eye on me. I am kinda looking forward to getting this done! I've been waiting for it so long that it will be a nice relief to get it past me. Since we are an hour from the surgery center, DH will have to collect his sample at the clinic. We weren't sure if they would have any "supplemental literature" to help him out, so today I went and bought him 2 magazines (kinda embarrassing)!!

Egg Retrevial on FRIDAY!!! WooHoo!!

After today's appointment, the RE has decided I am ready for my ER!! I got a bunch of information from the doctor, and think I am ready! I do my trigger at 9:00 PM tonight and also my Lupron at 8:00 PM; NO FOLLISTIM!! Yea!

Day 10 update!

Stimming Day 10: Yet, another ultrasound and blood draw today. Ultrasound didn't show much difference. I guess the eggs grew about 1mm, and after the ultra the RE stood there a while trying to decide what to do. So, he decided to have me go back tomorrow for another look, and to keep the 5iu of Lupron and 100 of Follistim. I am out of Menopur and only have like 2 more syringes for my Lupron. I've got maybe 3-4 more days of the Follistim. RE also said that my ER will probably be Thursday now, instead of Wednesday. I was kinda disappointed, but I don't really know why. I've got to remember, it only takes one really good embryo to become my son/daughter!

Feeling: Pretty crappy today. It is like one day good-one day bad-one day good-one day bad-etc! Feeling a little better now than I did this morning. My emotions are kinda out of whack today. Feeling depressed and want to cry for no big reason at all. Maybe I am just nervous about the ER, nervous about how many good quality eggs they get, worried about if they will fertilize, worried about how I will feel about ER, worried about if this is going to be a huge waste of money in time or THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!!! Oh, I hope it it the later!!

Day 9 update!

Stimming Day 9: Another trip to the RE for blood and ultra. Still didn't get my E2 levels, but I did get a glance at my chart today and in the chart is a graph where E2 levels should be, and even though I didn't get my exact numbers I am in the "good" area. My ultrasound today was good. I have 1 follie at 19 1/2, but the rest are like 15/16. RE said that we will need to sacrifice the large one so the others can mature to 17-20. I have to go back tomorrow for another ultrasound and more blood. Hopefully, the 15/16s will have grown a little today and are the right size.

Feeling: Pretty good today. My bloat is hardly even here today, but I do have one of those tiny annoying headaches I've been getting almost every day. I freaked out this morning when I noticed a lot of EWCM! I thought for sure I was ovulating and screwing everything up! I was even in tears. Come to find out, that with these high hormone levels, the ewcm is plentiful! It was just really weird since I NEVER get that with a natural cycle.

The RE said that my retrieval might be Thursday now, but he will know more tomorrow. This is going to be a tough week!

Day 7 update!

Stimming Day 7: Another day of blood and today an ultrasound! Didn't get my E2#, but the office leaves early on Friday. The ultrasound was very cool! I've got about 4 13mm, 2 12mm, and few others! I think there were about 10 eggs, even though they aren't all good sizes. My left ovary seems to be producing larger and more than the right, but there are still quite a few on the right. I asked about Valium for the ET and was told that they normally don't do it, but if I need it he will prescribe it. Kinda makes me keel like a baby, so I guess I will just suck it up and do it without the valium! Asked the doctor about when he thought the ER would be, and he said probably still Wednesday!! WOW!! That's like 5 days away!

Feeling: Actually, I've been feeling better lately. Minor headache today, but feeling better. Still bloating a bit, but seems a little better. My emotions have kinda changed from wanting to cry at everything to having a very short fuse! Don't look at me the wrong way or tickle me, because then I won't speak to you for at least an hour! Ahhh, love those hormonal drugs!

I can't believe the ER is getting so close. I only have like 4 more vials of Menopur! That means, like only 4 more days of shots!! WooHoo! I was really nervous about the PIO shots, but after having to do 3 a day, 1 PIO shot that I don't even have to do myself is sounding more doable! This whole process is pretty amazing!

Day 5 update

Stimming Day5: Today I went in for my E2 levels. They were at 165 where is exactly where they want them to be - so good news! I will continue on the same meds. My next appointment is on Friday - EARLY Friday @ 7:40 AM meaning we will have to leave here at 6:30AM! That will be an early morning. I will get my first ultrasound since the baseline. It will be interesting to see what is going on in there.

Feeling: Pretty yucky today. I have started to bloat quite a bit. My big pants are starting to feel tight. I started off the day feeling nauseous, but feeling a little better now. I didn't even go to work today. My ovaries are starting to feel bigger, and when the nurse called about my meds I asked her about BD. She said we could, but to be gentle! Don't know how DH will like that! Emotionally, I've been a wreck! I hate myself lately because I just can't seem to control my emotions. Hmmm? This is going to be a long week!

Day 3 update

Stimming Day 3: Went today for bloodwork (E2 at 30), and I will stay on the same dosage of meds until Wed (which is my next appointment). Tired of the shots already, but I will keep doing them like I am supposed to.

Feeling: Ok, not great. I've had a terrible headache today. Tylenol took care of it. Getting more emotional lately. Ready to cry at the drop of a hat and very short fuse today. I wish I wouldn't think about this IVF 24/7.

1 Day down, about 9 more to go!

Stimming Day 1: Well, I did all 3 shots and the baby aspirin! I did cry a little with the Menopur since it seemed like a lot harder to do than the other shots. However, with a little nudge of encouragment from my DH, I did it!

Feeling: Pretty good. A little light headed today at Wal-Mart, but nothing too bad. Follistim burned a little going in (more than the others). Will be glad to get rid of these headaches from the Lupron only. I think with the others added to the Lupron, my headaches should go away.

I'm going to do my best at taking this one day at a time and one shot at a time. I'm not sure I have enough Lupron, but I am only doing 5 units now and I'm not sure how long I will be needing to take it. My next appointment is Monday and it is just for blood. Hopefully they will see some good numbers (which I wouldn't even know if they told me!)

Everything is a GO!!! Let the stimming begin ~ Well, on Saturday!

My RE appointement today was good. I had baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. My lining was nice and thin and haven't heard anything about the bloodwork. We then talked with the IVF nurse about the next part of my schedule and how to do my next shots. I will be doing 1 vial of Meopur AM, 5 units of Lupron PM, and 100 Follistim PM. That seems like a lot lower dosage of meds than I've heard other girls taking. Anyway... She showed me how to mix the Menopur and a refresher on the Follistim pen. I start the injections on Saturday and go in on Monday just for bloodwork. It seems like such a waste to drive an hour 1 way for a 5 minute blood draw. I asked if I could do it at my own Dr's office, but they said they like to run all their own labs, which I guess is kinda good. What sucks is Monday they wanted me to come in between 8-9, but it is the first day of summer school. I talked them into a 10:00 appointment, but I may have to wait for an opening. I just hope 1 hour in the morning at summer school will be good enough to kinda get things going. Oh well, what can I do? She also said I would do approx. 10 days of stims with my ER somewhere around June 21st! That will be here sooner than I think. It seems like I've been kinda down the last few days, which I think is from the Lupron, but after today's appointment I'm feeling pretty good about things!

Feeling Down Tonight

I'm not sure why, but I am feeling down tonight. I don't know if it is because of IVF stuff or summer school stress. The whole day I just felt like crying and even now that I'm home I just feel like going to bed (and it is only 7:30). I'm tired and depressed. Maybe it is more of a summer school issue than IVF now that I really think of it. DAMNED expensive IVF! If we didn't have to do IVF, then we wouldn't need the money, and I would have a nice summer break off. That is one of the perks of being a teacher. Grrrr.

Hello AF, Hello Cycle #19

What a strange day of AF. It started off last night when I started to spot. Every night I start to spot=AF in the morning. Well, not this time. The whole day consisted me going to the bathroom a million times checking the TP. I started feeling big time cramps and still nothing until about 3 hours ago. HELLO! TMI - I'm still not flowing much, but I've heard that can happen with the BCP/Lupron protocol. Of course, tomorrow I might be flowin like a river! I am kinda looking forward to my RE appointment on Thursday. I feel I am ready to move on to the next phase and to get a date (which I know can change) for ER/ET. Every once in a while the thought of me being PG in 4 weeks gets me excited, followed directly thinking - "Naaa, nothing has worked so far!" I just hope I respond well to the stimms and wasn't overly suppressed. Of course, 19 is my favorite number, and since my Aunt Wendy has been diagnosed with cancer, I would love to have some good news for my family!

Tomorrow is the beginning training session for summer school. I also have to go back to school to get my principal's signature so I can send in my application to renew my teaching license! Wow! I've had my license for 6 years. I can't believe I've been teaching that long. I hope this new curriculum is OK with Jim since I didn't even call him. Oh well, I guess he should have made the meeting on Wednesday!

How am I going to make it?

Last night was a hard night on Lupron. The night before's shot was terribly painful, so last night when I was giving myself the injection I started to cry. I just couldn't seem to get the courage to poke myself. I sat there crying saying, "I don't think I can do this tonight." My DH, bless his heart, kept telling me, "You can do it honey." And finally, I did it through the tears. It didn't hurt as much as the night before but I did bleed a little. How on earth am I going to make it? I have about another week of Lupron and then I add the Follistim AND the Menopur (which I've heard stings). How am I going to make it? I sure hope this next part of my cycle goes fast. I am guessing I will start AF in the next couple of days. I really don't know what I will do if this doesn't work. I have put so much time, money, and effort into it, it just has to. Also, when I was thinking about things, if AF does come, that would mean this IVF cycle will be on Cycle #19, and 19 just happens to be my favorite number. I hope I can make it!