Here he/she is!!!

We have a heartbeat!!

YEA! The ultrasound was fantastic! The baby measured exactly on time (6w4d) and had a strong heartbeat. The RE didn't measure how fast it was, but was very please with it! I'll add a picture once we get the ultrasound picture scanned! I am going to have a baby!!!

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

First ultrasound is tomorrow

And I'm not sure I'm going to make it! I'm so impatient. It seems like we have waited for an eternity for the day to come. My emotions are just a jumble of feelings. I go from feeling like things are perfect and we will see the heartbeat, to thinking "I wonder when I'll need another D&C." I am trying to have a positive attitude (even though I know what I just said). I have to say that this time around I am feeling a lot more morning sickness. I think that is a good sign. When I was pregnant with William, I had pretty bad morning sickness. I only puked once, but I had all-day nausea. I've had steady nausea since Friday; so a full 5 days now. When I was pg and lost the baby, I had a little m/s, but not much. There are also a few things that I think may have been problems during my last pregnancy and maybe had something to do with the m/c. Last time, I had strep throat so a very high fever, lots of Advil, and lots of antibiotics. At the time, I had no clue I would be pregnant, and all those things are bad during the first trimester. Also, last time I got a severe static shock. It was the worst shock I have ever received in my life. Everything I read on the Internet said that a shock is TERRIBLE for a baby, no matter what trimester. Another thing is I am not under as much stress as last time. I found out I was pregnant a couple days before we closed on our house, so there was all the stress with offers, counter offers, and inspections. Now, I have no clue if any of these things contributed to the loss of the baby or if there was just some genetic defect, which is what most miscarriages are caused by. It may not make one bit of difference, but when you are the type of person like I am, I like answers! I am a teacher. I teach why things are the way they are and answer questions all day. When there is something that comes along that I don't have a definitive answer for, it bugs me. I need to get into my mind that some things are not answered and not in my control. That is so hard for me. So, what I am going to do with myself until I get to my ultrasound at 3:50pm? Think about it all day long, pray and pray and pray and pray, and try to get it through my thick skull that there is nothing I can do to help things or hurt them. It is out of my hands.

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

6 weeks today

I am 6 weeks today. For some reason it seems like a bit of milestone. I don't know. My ultrasound in on Wednesday, and it seems like a million years away! I know it is only 4 days, but after what happened last time, I guess I am just anxious to make sure everything is ok. It was our first ultrasound last time where we found out there was a problem. The baby was measuring more than a week behind, and didn't have a regular heartbeat. I'm not sure I'll be able to look at the ultrasound monitor. I hope the next 4 days go fast. Some good news, I've only had a couple days of really light spotting and nothing for the past 2, so hopefully that scare is done!

Here is how big the baby is at 6 weeks... a Sweet Pea

.

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

Good news!!

After fearing the worst after my brown spotting (which I also had some this morning), I went to my RE to have another beta down. Thank goodness, it had risen to over 2000! I am sooooo relieved! The RE said he wasn't sure why I was spotting, but he was very happy with my levels. So, we are still on for our first ultrasound on Feb 26th. Please oh please let us see a heartbeat!!

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

Brown Spotting

Oh no, not again! I woke up this morning to a lot of brown spotting. (TMI alert) Not enough to get on anything, but quite a bit when I wiped. I am so upset. I called my RE and asked if I should go to the ER. I had lots of bad cramping on Friday and some on my side, so I was a little concerned about an ectopic (in the tube) pregnancy. The RE said that if I wasn't in a lot of pain, that I probably don't have an ectopic, and I don't have much cramping at all. The RE said I can go in Monday (but, I wonder if he meant Tuesday because I wouldn't think they'd be open on President's Day. I'll call tomorrow though). They will check my blood levels, and if they go down, then I will m/c. He will also give me an ultrasound to see if he can see something in the uterus (not the tube). I am just kicking myself for starting to tell people about this pregnancy. I knew I should have waited until our first ultrasound, but once I had good rising beta numbers, I thought this pregnancy would be ok and was excited to share the good news. Stupid me!! I guess I will just take it easy today and just pray hard that the spotting in nothing. With my last pregnancy, I only had a tiny bit of pink spotting while Ben and I were in Las Vegas, and now we know the baby had already died by then. My levels were increasing as of Thursday, so I am hoping this is just some old blood or something. I want to be positive, but at the same time I don't want to kid myself. I'll keep you posted. I don't want to lose another child. It was hard enough losing my last child. If you are a praying person, send one up for my little one. Thanks!

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

Beta #3!

473

YES! It went up again. The RE was good with my numbers, so I don't even have to go in for another beta. My first ultrasound will be Feb 26th. Two weeks of waiting will be torture, but I am just got a good vibe about this pregnancy. Pray for me that we will see a nice strong heartbeat at that ultrasound!

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

Beta #2

149

The nurse said it was a good rise even though it is a little slower rise than I would have liked. Betas should double every 48-72 hours, and this was 54. For my first pregnancy and the one I lost, my betas doubled in less than 48 hours. I guess I will just try to relax since the nurse said it was good. They also tested my progesterone, and that was 15.7, and that was good too. So for now, I am still pregnant and will just pray that this baby sticks. I go back on Thursday for a 3rd draw.

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

First Beta results...

59.5

YEA!! Last time my first beta was only 9 and then 2 days later it was only 48! This time I am starting off stronger, so that really helps! I go back on Monday for a second draw. I just pray it rises like it is supposed to!

Yep! BFP confirmed this morning!!!!

OMG!!!

I just got a BFP!!

I can't believe it. I had been having some symptoms, but I thought they were all in my head. Until yesterday, when I went outside to take the dog out and thought I smelled something burning. I had DH come out and he said he couldn't smell a thing. Then, I have been REALLY tired the last couple days. So, I held my pee all evening and took a dollar store test. And then, there it was... line. A faint one, but there. Here is a picture, but I know it is hard to see...

















I'll take a digital tomorrow morning, but holy crap - I'm pregnant again. Now, just pray that this one sticks!!



P.S.
If anyone knows me in real life, please don't tell anyone. I don't plan on calling the dr until I am a week late and I'm not planning on telling anyone until I get some for sure news from the OB that I have a healthy baby in there. I don't think I have a lot of friends or family that read this Blog, but just in case. Please don't say anything! THANKS!!!