I hate to lie!

I really do hate it. This time, we have decided not to tell anyone that we are cycling, which = LIE after LIE after LIE. For our first IVF, we pretty much told everyone. However, this time I wanted to keep it a secret. Why? Because I want to surprise everyone when I get a BFP - especially my Mom. With the first IVF process, it was hard, emotional, scary, etc and I really needed the support of my DH and my family (especially my Mom). This time, I know more what to expect, and I still have DH to go through it with me. When we get our BFP, I want my Mom and my family to be blown out of the water with the good news. My Mom and I are very close. I'd say we are pretty much best friends. I talk to her everyday and sometimes multiple times in a day. It is really hard for me to lie to her. The other day she called me on my cell and asked if DH and I could go over her house and help her with her swimming pool. Well, when she called I was 40 miles out of town coming home from my RE appointment, and DH was home with the baby. I told her all 3 of us were out shopping. LIE!!! I have an ultrasound appointment on the 23rd, and I'll have to lie again. I need her to babysit the baby because DH can't get off that day and I can't take the baby with me to the ultrasound. LIE again! The day of the transfer = ANOTHER LIE! This time I will see if my Mom and Dad will take the baby overnight so DH and I can have a "weekend getaway". Of course, I just need to be on bedrest after the transfer and don't want to have to deal with a toddler that probably wouldn't understand why Mommy has to stay in bed and ignore him. I tell you, I HATE lying! Plus, I suck at it! #1. I feel terribly guilty for doing it - even though my intentions are good. #2. Everyone can usually tell when I lie! I always wonder if they can see right through my lies. I can't tell you how many times I've almost broken down and told my Mom, but I want to make this special for her. She is a wonderful woman, always helps me no matter what, and has had a pretty crappy year at work. Her school she works at (she is a school counselor) was changed into a magnet school breaking up a very close staff. She was placed in a different school and some of her closest coworkers were placed in different schools. I can't believe the school district did such a crappy thing to all the teachers there. So, I really want her to start her school year at her new school with wonderful news. I hope she (and the rest of the family) will forgive me for all the lies!