First injection = done!

That was a hard one. The first one! DH wasn't even there for moral support. He is out of town until tomorrow. I got out the medication, the alcohol wips, the syringe, and the red box you put the used needles. All of it, sitting on my kitchen counter, waiting to be broken in. I sat down at the counter, cracked open the Lupron, wiped the top with the alcohol, got the syringe, filled it with the medication, and wiped my skin where I was going to give the injections. Then, I sat there. And sat there, with the needle pointing toward my skin. I just couldn't do it. Then, I started to cry. I hadn't even poked myself yet! Why is it so hard to give myself a shot? It hardly hurts at all! I guess it is because this shot brought back lots on memories of previous shots from our first IVF. There is just so much that rides on an IVF cycle. Hopes, dreams, and the possibility of having those hopes and dreams crushed. Since this is all for baby number 2, I guess I feel selfish. I got my miracle. I got my wonderful little William. On the first try!!! There are so many women that do cycle after cycle of IVF to no avail - spending thousands upon thousands of dollars not getting anything to show for it other than debt!! Then there are those that spend the money on IVF, get pregnant, only to miscarry. The whole process is just so utterly and completely exhausting. Here I am, with the miracle of my son, temping fate again, even kinda temping God trying to get a 2nd miracle. How can I be so selfish? I just hope and pray that we will get our second little miracle. I guess I will try to hold my breath until August. Can I hold on that long?