No baby for us in 2006, just got AF. LIFE SUCKS!!!

Yep, came home from our very nice weekend away to AF. I'm crushed. Been crying most of the night and dreading having to call my Mom becuase I know I will just start to cry again. There is no need for me to even go got my beta done at all. I can't take this disappointment much longer. And the hardest thing of all this, is I'm losing my faith in God. I can't believe I am even saying that, but I am. I am ready to quit my job at the church as choir director and not go anymore. The prayers from me and the prayers of my church family have been going unanswered. And, yes, there is all that talk that God must not think it is the "Right" time for us. Screw that!! We are loving people that would be great parents!! Tell me it is the right time for an unwed 15 year old to have a child. Tell me it is right timing when I call parents of my students that couldn't care less about how their child is doing in school. Tell me it is the right timing when DH and I end up possibly spending $100,000 on infertility treatments that don't work (already did $1500). Tell me it is right timing when I am sticking myself every night with needles. Tell me it is right timing when I have to take many days off of work for ultrasounds and when if I do get pregnant won't have enough days off so I can stay home with my child. Tell me it is right timing when I feel like a failure every time I get AF. Tell me it is right timing when everytime DH and I make love, it isn't "love" at all, it is based on drugs and what the doctors tell us! Tell me it is right timing when I wish I was DEAD!!!