Yeow, PIO shots are painful!

Well, we started our PIO shots and they hurt. The first one was very painful, but the one last night wasn't as bad. I can't believe how close the transfer is getting. I think I will be glad when it is finished. Right now my fear is if the two embryos we have will thaw. Our clinic has a very high thaw rate (90%), but I guess I am afraid that I will be part of the 10%.

As for the move, things are absolutely nuts! Benjamin and I worked all day at the house getting the last little odds and ends packed and moved. We are very close to being done. He has a few more loads to take to storage because it was raining all day and we couldn't take a load. But, the stuff he needs to take is stacked neatly in the garage. The house is almost empty. We have 1 cabinet and 2 drawers to empty and then it will be done. All I will need to do tomorrow is clean. I did a little cleaning today, but I have some more to do. It will be a big weight off my back to have it done. I am really sad about leaving though. It is funny. It was something that I wanted to do and still want to do, but it is like I don't want to leave. It will be worth it the first time William gets a little bug or something and I won't have to call off work to take him to the dr. I know it is worth it!

Time set for transfer!

Shannon, the embryologist, called me this morning with the information about our transfer. It is scheduled for 12:00 noon on August 19th. We will need to be there about 11am. She will thaw the embryos first thing in the morning, let them expand, and will let us know how they are doing before the transfer. After the transfer, we will stay at the surgery center for about an hour and then head home. Once I am home, I am on bedrest. The next 2 days I will need to "take it easy" and no lifting William until the weekend with "limited" lifting after that. I'm not supposed to hold him all day or pick him up a lot. That is going to be hard, but thank goodness I told my parents what is up so they can help up out. I also got my progesterone today, so we are all set for the first shot tonight. The first shot is always the hardest, but I'm sure all will be fine. So, for now I just stay the course. I am getting pretty excited. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but that is hard for me to do. I just hope this all works out and we get another little baby for our family.

Last shot of Lupron tonight!

Yea! Tonight's shot was it for that nasty stuff, but I do have to admit that once I started the estrogen it hasn't been as bad. Tomorrow night is my first PIO shot, and I am a little nervous about it. At least I don't have to do those. Benjamin gets to do those for me. I should get my new Olive Oil progesterone tomorrow. I am really hoping that those go well. Wish me luck!

Better news today

I had much better news at my lining check today. I went from a lining of 6mm to a lining of 10.4mm!! WooHoo! Everything is a go for our transfer on Aug 19th. One week away! I will stop my Lupron on Wednesday and start my progesterone shots Thursday. We did kinda hit a snag on the progesterone since we found out it is in Sesame Oil, and I am allergic to sesame. The good news is we found out before I started the shots - the bad news is the pharmacy won't take back medication so I will have to pay twice. Oh well, it really isn't that expensive and not that big of deal to me. The embryologist will be calling me sometime this week with the schedule of transfer. They wanted to wait until they knew my lining was better before they scheduled. I am really getting excited. I will be pregnant next Tuesday (until proven otherwise).

As for the move, we are officially at my parents' house, but our old house is still full of little things that need to be packed and moved. All the furniture is out thanks to my Ben, his best friend, and my brother. We don't have to be out until the 22nd, so we will try to do a little every night this week and be out - all the way out - by the weekend. Looks like it will be another crazy week!

Not the best news today

Today I had my uterus lining check. A full, thick lining should be about 11-13mm. My lining measured today at 6mm. The lining is what you shed (a woman's period) when you aren't pg. The Dr wasn't too happy with it, so now everything is changed. I now have to add an estrogen tablet vaginally and keep up with my estrogen patches for an extra 5 days. The Dr said that the added estrogen and taking the estrogen patches longer might thicken things up. He said that some pregnancies can happen with a 6mm, but this point for my first IVF I was at 9mm. Because things have been pushed back, we decided to tell my parents about the cycle. I was really disappointed that we had to tell them, but it does feel good to get the secret out. It was about killing me not to tell them. Our transfer is now tentatively scheduled for Aug 19. I have to be on bed-rest for the day of transfer and modified bed-rest for the following two days. And, I don't think I will be able to lift William for a few days either. Since, we will be living with my parents, I don't think I would have been able to keep it a secret anyway. Plus, it will be nice to have some help from them while I'm on bed rest and can't pick up the baby. I know this is only a little kink in the road, but now my confidence is a little shaken. I have another lining check on Tuesday, so I'll keep you posted on that. So for now, I will just keep praying that the extra estrogen and extra time will be what my body needs. Now I will focus on packing and moving. We are going to try to move our beds and belongings over the Mom and Dad's this weekend, then we will have a good 2 weeks to get everything else out of the house, into storage, before the closing on Aug 22nd. We have a lot of work, and here I sit on the computer. Maybe I should get to work, or at least give the baby a bath!

Thoughts for a Thursday

Today's thought: I wonder what tomorrow's RE appointment will bring. DH is going with me and he is bringing DS because we don't have daycare. I hope DS is a good boy. I wonder if my lining is good. It is so strange since for our fresh IVF I went to the RE like every other day; had blood draws and ultrasounds. This will only be my second appointment, and won't have another until my transfer next Fri!

Wordless Wednesday: Injections! Wipe, fill, stick

My Schedule

I figure I'd go ahead and share my schedule. Click the picture to make it bigger so it can be read.
















P.S.
I got my Lupron today. After my shot last night, I probably had enough for today to, but I don't have to worry now.

Uh oh! Almost out of Lupron!

I was noticing that I was getting low on Lupron, but never did the nurse or Dr tell me I would need to refill the prescription. I think I have enough for maybe 1 more shot! YIKES! So, I looked at the box and read that I have 1 refill. Um, oops! Guess I should have noticed that sooner. So, as soon as the pharmacy opened today I called them and asked for the refill. It is a pharmacy in California that specializes in fertility meds. Luckily they can overnight it, so I should have it for tomorrow. I just hope I have enough for tonight. I only have 6 more Lupron shots to go; my last shot is Saturday night. Yea! Then, I switch my Lupron to PIO. Oh, joy!

Now - 3 patches

Well, I have now progressed up to 3 patches of estrogen instead of just 1. Today was easy to find places for the 3, but when I take these off and have to put 3 more on Tuesday, I am wondering where I am going to put them. When I take them off, they leave a red mark and some left over adhesive, so I don't want to put new ones directly over where I put the old ones. I guess I might need to find some alternative places for them to go.

On the home front - WE SOLD OUR HOUSE! WOOHOO!!!!!! I can't believe it. I never thought we would be able to sell in this horrible housing market. We signed the papers today on the offer and now just have to kinda go through the other stuff before closing. I have to admit that this is not the best timing to have to pack and move right in the middle of our FET. They want to close on Aug 22nd, but we are going to try to be all moved out before my transfer on the 15th. We are going to move in with my parents for a while. I am thinking that if I get pregnant with twins I could really use the help of my parents. It is cool, because things are just kinda falling into place. We got the offer 2 days before my job interview (I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week and had another interview tomorrow). We are still going to try to keep this FET a secret from my parents. We thought about telling them, but we don't want all the effort we've put into not telling them go to waste. So, once we move in it will be fun trying to do my PIO shots on the sneak, but we will just have to do it! It is going to be a crazy few weeks!

YEA!!! I get to be a STAY AT HOME MOM! YEA!!!

13 days until the big "T"

WOW, 13 days! It is hard to believe. Things are going well. My headaches have gone now that I have been on the estrogen patches - YEA! The Lupron shots are going well. I keep taking the baby aspirin and PNV. So, overall, I'm good! I have a lining check Friday. If my lining looks good then I start my dreaded PIO (Progesterone in Oil) shots next Sunday. Those are the BAD ones. Those are the ones that have to go into the butt muscle unlike the Lupron ones that are just subcutaneous in the stomach that I can do myself. The PIO shots Benjamin has to do for me. They are LONG needles and hurt. What really is a bummer is once I get pg I have to continue the shots for another 12-14 weeks, every night. It is worth it in the end, but I admit it is no fun at all. Thank goodness for Benjamin. He is so good at giving them to me. He did so well with the first IVF that I have full confidence in him. I think it is good to have him do them so he can have a part in this cycle too. I mean, it really has been all me. My dr's appointments, my medication, my shots, my transfer; all having to do with me. With this FET he doesn't even need to do anything - the embryos are already fertilized! This will get him more involved. So, I guess we just keep moving on with the cycle. More Lupron shots, estrogen patches, and aspirin.

Patches = ouch!

I was pretty excited to start with my estrogen patches. I put on my first patch on Monday. The nurse said that it would stick even in the water, so showering and swimming was oked. I wasn't quite convinced that the patches would stay put. I found out that I was wrong. They do stick! In fact, they stick too good!! Yesterday I had to take off the one I put on Monday and replace it. I damn near pulled off my skin!! I even tried getting the patch off in the shower making sure the warm water was running directly on it. Finally, with a little help with some rubbing alcohol, I got it off, but it left a nice red mark on my belly. I have to put a new patch on tomorrow. I hope I can get it off without taking my skin with it!

I'm a bad girl today!

I have always struggled with my weight. Right now, I'd say I probably am about 50 pounds over my ideal weight and according to the Wii Fit I am Obese. YUCK!! Well, this FET cycle is not helping! I am a stress eater and have been. I gained weight when we were TTC before so why would I think it would be any different now? I really wish I would have some self control, but right now I crave sweets! It is terrible for me, yet when I went to the grocery store today I bought way too much junk food! I am a bad, bad person! I am not looking forward to going back to work, but the good thing about it is I won't be home to eat! Maybe once school starts I can lose the 5 pounds I have put on since the summer started.

Oh, I have a job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I want a baby!!!!!

I want to have a baby!! I want this cycle to work sooooo bad that I can hardly stand it. It seems like for the last couple days all I can think about is this FET and it is getting harder and harder with the waiting. Patience is not one of my virtues and even though things are progressing, it just seems like it is creeping along. However, since I have to go back to work, the faster the time goes the less time I get to spend with William. It is a catch 22. Well, I guess this is a lesson for me on patience.

As for the progression of this cycle, things are going fine. I started with the estrogen patches and aspirin today and will keep doing my Lupron. I'm still getting terrible headaches, but like I have said before I am hoping this estrogen will help make those go away. The patch was interesting to put on - kinda itchy but the itchiness has gone away. So far it is still stuck - I was a little worried it wouldn't stick. The nurse said I can shower and swim with it, so I hope she is right because I am going to my parents to go swimming this evening. Only 19 more days until transfer. It is almost like waiting for Christmas when you are a child. It is exciting and taking forever at the same time!

On the down part of the roller coaster today

I was just kinda thinking of things today. I was thinking about having to sell the house. It is hard to leave this house and neighborhood, but I just can't see us being able to afford to stay here if I want to stay home or even if we have 2 kids in daycare. Daycare is very expensive, plus I don't want to be away from a little one. It gets a little easier to be away when they are older, just because they are more independent. I am going to have more trouble being away from William than he will. He loves to be around kids, and I think he will really enjoy being in daycare now. But, what I was thinking was that if this FET doesn't work, that I don't think we should sell the house. The reason we are selling the house is so I can stay home with the baby. But, if I am not able to stay home this year, next year William will only be getting closer to preschool. If we have 2 kids, then I will definitely stay home, but if this doesn't work, then I don't want to sell. Then, after all that thinking, it made me sad to think of this FET not working. Most of this time I have been staying pretty positive about this working. I mean, why wouldn't it work? It worked last time! But today, I am filled with doubt and I'm not sure why. I guess it is just part of the infertility roller coaster. Emotions go up and down, up and down, and I am on the down today. Ugh! Why does infertility hurt so much?

Good appointment yesterday

I had a pretty good appointment yesterday. The ultrasound showed a thin lining and no action in the ovaries - good news. After the ultrasound, I met with the nurse to go over my next set of meds. I keep taking Lupron until 8/9 so another 17 days (bummer). I start my estrogen patches on Monday. I do 1 patch every other day for 6 days, then go to 3 patches every other day for another 6 days, and then up to 4 patches every other day until beta test which is Aug 26th. I also start taking an aspirin on Monday and take those until beta. I have another ultrasound on 8/8 to check my lining. If that looks good, then I start the dreaded PIO (Progesterone in oil) shots on 8/10 and continue those until 12-14 weeks on pregnancy. (Major bummer - but worth it!) I also take 1 pill of Medrol and 2 pills of Doxycycline for 4 days starting 2 days before the transfer. Whew! That is complicated and a lot of stuff to take! It is a good thing the nurse gave me a spreadsheet with everything I need to do! It doesn't look as bad on the spreadsheet. I am getting pretty excited. I have to say that I am very optimistic about this cycle. In my head I am planning on being pregnant. I think I have a bit of over confidence since IVF#1 worked. There is still a possiblity that this won't work, but since this is our last try and it worked last time, I just KNOW this is going to work. (Knock on Wood).

Oh, and I asked the nurse about stress with this cycle. She said not to worry, that our bodies are meant to take a lot of stress, and unless I was so stressed I was having trouble breathing, not sleeping, shaking all the time kinda stress, that I would be fine. So, that was a relief!

How much stress can one person take?

When it rains it pours. As you probably know from the last few posts, I have been very stressed. My stresses range from dealing with wacky emotions from these meds to having the house not sell yet. Well, now we just found out that our cat has FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis) and we have to put him to sleep. I know all this stress is NOT good for this cycle. Am I wasting my time, energy, and money on a cycle that I am killing with stress? I am trying my hardest to take some time everyday to just relax, almost a mini-meditation, but that is sure hard with a toddler. I am so sad about losing our cat. We lost our last cat on our wedding day! OUR WEDDING DAY!! Can you believe it? It took a while before DH was ready to get a cat, and this cat, Zarbie, has been soooo great. I am not much of a cat person, but when DH and I got together I found out that DH was totally a cat person. He even showed his cats. His first cat was a good cat too, and one breed that I am not allergic to. Well, when Fuzzy died on our wedding day, I felt so bad for DH that months later I bought him Zarbie. Zarbie is such a great cat. He cuddles, her purrs, he doesn't jump on the counters, he doesn't scratch, and he is very patient with the baby. The baby absolutely adores the cat. In fact, William's first word and favorite word happens to be "cat". I'm so heart broken, and I know this isn't good for my cycle. When I have my appointment tomorrow, I'm going to talk to the dr about how all this stress is effecting my cycle. I don't want to cancel since we are already into it, plus it is a better time for us to cycle now because I am not working. I don't want all these stupid side effects from the "evil" drug to be for nothing.

Life sure isn't easy sometimes, is it?

Here is a picture of Zarbie.

Lupron is EVIL!

I know I have already posted about my Lupron headaches, but I guess I'm not done complaining about it. I have been so emotional lately - very depressed for the past couple days - that I am blaming it on the Lupron too. I looked up the side effects and emotional issues are a side effect. Great! I've also had bad stomach problems the last few days and again it is a side effect. I HATE that I have to be one this stuff for so long. I know I have at least another week and possibly another! UGH! I am looking forward to my appointment on Wednesday. I will get to find out the other half of my med schedule. I am looking forward to starting those patches so these damn Lupron side effects can go away! On another note, I also started spotting today, so I will consider tomorrow cycle day 1. When I did IVF the first time, my AF after the BCP and Lupron was very light, so I am hoping it is again this time around. I hate AF - well, like any woman likes it - but it is kinda cool to think that this should be my last period for the next 10+ months! WooHoo!

Well, as I look at the time, I see I need to be off to go give myself a shot of pure EVIL - Lupron!

Will someone please shut off my mind?

And all the things I have been thinking about lately? Ugh! It is so frustrating. I can't shut off my mind. I am constantly thinking about this cycle...

What if it doesn't work?
What if it does?
What if we get twins? (Ok - don't count your chickens!!)
Will my next shot hurt?
When will I get AF?
What will my ultrasound next week show?
How will I feel when I start taking my next meds?
Will my embryos make the thaw?
etc, etc, etc.

I wish I could just shut off my mind and think about something stupid like shopping or something.

Oh, my aching head!!

These Lupron headaches are terrible! I had them before when I was taking the Lupron last time, but I had forgotten about how bad they are! The last time I talked to the nurse, she told me I should just take Tylenol. Well, let me tell you that Tylenol does nothing to help these headaches! I finally called the nurse and asked if I could take something else like Advil. She asked the dr and he said that I can take Advil until I start my estrogen patches which I think will be around the 28th. I LOVE Advil! hehehe It really has been helping these headaches. The nurse also said that once I start the estrogen that the headaches should go away! YEA! I have finished taking the BCP and expect to get AF any day, and the 23rd I go back to the RE for an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok.

On another subject, it doesn't look like I will be able to be a Stay at Home Mom. Bummer! We still haven't had a bite on the house and my last paycheck is August. DH and I talked it over, and it just seems silly to go into financial ruin just to be a SAHM. I bet almost every working mom would want to SAH at least for a little while and that all moms that work HATE leaving their babies. So, I guess our plan now is to have me go back to work, keep the house on the market, and either quit my job once the house sells or just kinda keep working until the end of the year and stay home next year. I have put in an application for 2 positions so I guess we will wait and see if I get an interview next week. The positions don't close until the 26th so I know it will be after that. I am a little nervous about going to work and being newly pregnant (hopefully) because when I was pregnant with William I had terrible morning sickness. I hope when I get pregnant after this FET that I won't be so sick. I lucked out last time because I was sick during the summer not during school. Oh well, I will manage!