Probably won't be posting here

I probably won't be posting on this blog any longer. It is hard for me to keep up with 2 blogs, so I will be concentrating on my family blog. If this pregnancy makes its way to the end, and we end up with a beautiful little baby, then chances are I will not be pregnant again. We want 2 kids, so unless something happens with this baby or we get crazy and decide we want a 3rd child, my guess is I will not need to post my TTC journey. It is bitter sweet to think that our TTC is at an end. It has been such a big part of our lives for the past 4 years. Thanks for following my journey, and please come over to my other blog to check in on us!

http://oursweetwilliam.blogspot.com/

Ugh, still dealing with morning sickness!

Ugh! TGIF! I don't know if I have needed a weekend more than I needed this one. I have still been struggling with morning sickness. Thank goodness I haven't been puking, but the all day nauseousness is just really bringing me down. Sorry, I am kinda whiny today. Not only have I been dealing with the morning (or should I say "every waking moment") sickness, but I still have my cold. Oh, and of course this week at school was CSAP! (The state testing). Well, I guess the good thing about the m/s is that having m/s is a good sign that the baby is ok. I just keep telling myself that it is worth it!!

Oh, and here is the size of the baby at 9 weeks (which I will be tomorrow). A green olive!

Morning sickness sucks ass!

Sorry, but it does! I've been struggling since about 2am with it. I still haven't puked, but if I was a puking person, and not one that does everything in her power not to puke, I'm sure I would have puked 4 times by now. It is a sense of relief that I am feeling morning sickness, as I really didn't with the baby I lost, but it still sucks ass! Why is it that when people have the stomach flu, they stay home, but women who suffer from morning sickness are encouraged to stay at work? That doesn't seem fair! Not that I am at work today, but I have to work tomorrow. I sure hope I am feeling better by then!

I now have a little blueberry in my tummy!

Here he/she is!!!

We have a heartbeat!!

YEA! The ultrasound was fantastic! The baby measured exactly on time (6w4d) and had a strong heartbeat. The RE didn't measure how fast it was, but was very please with it! I'll add a picture once we get the ultrasound picture scanned! I am going to have a baby!!!

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!

First ultrasound is tomorrow

And I'm not sure I'm going to make it! I'm so impatient. It seems like we have waited for an eternity for the day to come. My emotions are just a jumble of feelings. I go from feeling like things are perfect and we will see the heartbeat, to thinking "I wonder when I'll need another D&C." I am trying to have a positive attitude (even though I know what I just said). I have to say that this time around I am feeling a lot more morning sickness. I think that is a good sign. When I was pregnant with William, I had pretty bad morning sickness. I only puked once, but I had all-day nausea. I've had steady nausea since Friday; so a full 5 days now. When I was pg and lost the baby, I had a little m/s, but not much. There are also a few things that I think may have been problems during my last pregnancy and maybe had something to do with the m/c. Last time, I had strep throat so a very high fever, lots of Advil, and lots of antibiotics. At the time, I had no clue I would be pregnant, and all those things are bad during the first trimester. Also, last time I got a severe static shock. It was the worst shock I have ever received in my life. Everything I read on the Internet said that a shock is TERRIBLE for a baby, no matter what trimester. Another thing is I am not under as much stress as last time. I found out I was pregnant a couple days before we closed on our house, so there was all the stress with offers, counter offers, and inspections. Now, I have no clue if any of these things contributed to the loss of the baby or if there was just some genetic defect, which is what most miscarriages are caused by. It may not make one bit of difference, but when you are the type of person like I am, I like answers! I am a teacher. I teach why things are the way they are and answer questions all day. When there is something that comes along that I don't have a definitive answer for, it bugs me. I need to get into my mind that some things are not answered and not in my control. That is so hard for me. So, what I am going to do with myself until I get to my ultrasound at 3:50pm? Think about it all day long, pray and pray and pray and pray, and try to get it through my thick skull that there is nothing I can do to help things or hurt them. It is out of my hands.

Today I am pregnant, and today I love my baby!